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Title: Space Oddity: A Newsies Halloween Adventure
Chapters: 1/?
Author: stillgoldie1899
Genre: Humor/Supernatural
Ratings: PG13
Pairings/Characters: Jack, David, Mush, Blink, Race, Skittery
Summary:A blatant concept rip-off, by way of Life on Mars. AU-ish. Jack and some of the lads are hit by a flaming trolly, and wake up in a strange land. What sort of madness is this? Death? Aliens? Drugs? Kloppman's sausages?
Comments: Happy Halloween!

It was the day before All Saint's Day, which meant nothing to Jack, of course, but some of the other newsies, the Irish, or Scottish ones, seemed to think it was important somehow. They thought it would be fun to dress up, and run around causing havoc. Jack had managed to convince them not to, but it was a close thing. Instead, a small pack of them were going to go to Irving Hall to catch a show. Race, and Blink, and Mush, and Skit, and David, but not Sarah, because she apparently had too much work to do. It seemed to Jack that that was happening a lot lately...

As they walked, joking around and being generally rowdy, as newsies were wont to do. Irving Hall was just half a block away, and already Jack could hear music drifting out of it, a strange new song Jack had never heard before. This is ground control to Major Tom, you've really made the grade? Who was Major Tom, and what was ground control? What grade was he supposed to be making? What on earth was Medda doing? What the heck sort of music was this? Jack was starting to have second thoughts, clearly Medda was going senile, when abruptly, he heard a shrieking sort of noise, terrible, like metal on metal, and crashing wood, and the world ending. As it happened, it wasn't quite the world ending, but it was a trolly, derailed, on fire, and crashing towards them at what seemed like a million miles an hour. It hit him, and the others, knocking them completely sideways, scattering them like rats.

Jack didn't think he'd ever open his eyes. Everything hurt, but not in a terrible way, just in a knocked-to-the-ground sort of way. He did, however, know he wasn't dead, because he could still hear that weird song Medda had been playing, although it seemed to be louder for some reason. Perhaps the trolly had knocked them into Irving Hall?

"Race? Blink? Skit? David? Mush?" Jack was actually sort of afraid to open his eyes. He could feel cobble streets beneath him, but they felt weird, too worn, unnaturally uneven, as though too much time had passed. And he was afraid that the others might be dead.

"I'm gonna kill that goddamn trolly driver, if he ain't already dead." Race, at least wasn't dead.

"I feel like they were tryin to knock me good eye out..." Blink was alive as well, it seemed.

"Of course. Why not end the day gettin hit by a flamin trolly? Great. Just fuckin great." Skit, grumpy as ever, was apparently unharmed.

"Nearly broke my arm...I can't afford a hospital..." Mush sounded miserable.

"Um, fellas? Where the hell are we?" David brought up an interesting point, and one that forced Jack to open his eyes.

The first thing that stuck him was that the trolly was covered in strange ads, was missing it's cables, and was not in flames, or crashing. The next thing that struck him was that the buildings were too short, and completely unfamiliar. And, the most important thing, they were being surrounded by a large pack of very oddly dressed people.

The trolly driver was pushing through the crowd, his hat at an odd angle, coat apparently missing. "Where the hell did you boys come from? I didn't see you! Nobody saw them, right? Until they went flying! I did not hit them! I am not losing my license over a pack of drunk idiots! They were not there! Goddamnit, I hate Halloween!"

Jack got to his feet, fighting off a sense of panic, the others joining him, and gathering a bit, leaving a ring of open space in a circle around them, between them and the crowd.

One voice came clearly through the crowd, a large man in what appeared to be a Roman toga. "Awesome stunt, man, but what the hell are they supposed to be?"

Another voice pipped up, a girl who was clearly a whore, but a strangely dressed whore, all fishnets and a skirt that ended at her knees, and a top that read "NCIS". She was also wearing a white coat, and her black hair was in pigtails, which looked a bit childish next to all the black leather straps she was wearing all over her arms and neck. "They're newsies..."

"Like the Disney move? Laaaaame." The crowd started to dissipate, and fade away onto side streets. The trolly driver was raving about not being drunk, but was slowly being quieted, and ushered back onto his trolly. It began to move again, almost brushing past Jack, on wheels of it's own, not on a track, as though drawn by horses, although there were no horses in sight.

Everyone, it seemed, had lost interest in them, except for the girl dressed as a whore, who was staring at them, arms crossed over her chest. For the moment, Jack decided to ignore her, and huddled with the others.

"What the hell is goin on, Jack?" Blink was making faces, the way he always did when he was upset.

"Where the hell are we is a better question, Blink." David, always the voice of reason, was clearly on the edge of panic as well.

"I don't like this, guys. Maybe we should try walkin?" Mush looked like a lost puppy.

"Maybe we should just sit on the ground and wait for things to go back to normal." Skit's voice was dripping with sarcastic venom, directed at Mush.

Race smacked Skit on the back of the head. "Don't be an ass, Skit. Ya ain't bein helpful."

"Guys! Guys...ok. Something weird has happened. Dunno what, yet, but this ain't lookin a lot like New York. We need to figure out where we are, who these wackados are, and how we're gonna get back to the lodgin house. Ok?"

Before Jack could say anything else, the girl, who apparently had been eavesdropping, interrupted.

"Lodging House? You -are- newsies! I knew it." Jack turned, and raised his eyebrow at her as she grinned and shook her head. "My boyfriend and I went as newsies a few years ago, and my costume was good, but yours look professional. Very nicely done. Are you in the fandom? Online? James' just at CVS, he'll be back in a moment, and he'll want to see your costumes..."

"Fandom?" Mush's voice got a bit faint.

"Online?" David added.

"Yeah, you know...the NML? The old Union? RPGs? Fanfic? Fanfiction.net?" The girl shook her head. "Guess not. Shame, we could use some more guys in the fandom. Especially cute ones like you all...Of course, you're probably gay. What're your names? I'm Ria, but I go by Goldilocks online. You may have heard of me. I used to be important. Kinda."

"Ya not makin any sense, -Goldilocks-. What the hell is online, and where the hell are we, and what exactly do ya think ya know about newsies?" Jack frowned at her, wondering where she got the nickname Goldilocks if her hair was black.

The girl seemed to bristle. "Look, I've been in the fandom since 1997, buddy. Don't need to get all sarcastic with me. Forget I said anything." She turned, and started to walk away.

David grabbed her arm, his eyes wide. "Wait...you said 1997. What are you talking about?"

The girl raised her eyebrow. "I was talking about having been a fan since I saw the movie in 1997. 14 years ago."

David let go of her arm, going pale. "You're saying it's...2011? The -year- 2011?"

"Yeah, it's the year 2011. Monday, October 31, 2011. Haunted Happenings? In the heart of historic Salem? How hard did that trolly hit you?" The girl seemed to shrug when she was distracted, waving at a tall boy in a strange grey suit, crisp and clean, but with a strange cut. He seemed to have some strange sort of badge hanging from a pocket, that also said "NCIS", and a white bag on his arm with red writing on it, and he was frowning faintly.

"Know these guys, bunny?" The girl leaned up and kissed his cheek before shaking her head.

"Nah. They got hit by a trolly, and I recognized them as newsies. Good costumes, right?"

"They got hit by a trolly?" The guy, who Jack assumed was the James the girl had been talking about, folded her protectively in his arms.

"Yeah. And they seem confused as to where they are. Very Life on Mars. I'm sick of the crowds, can we go home now?" She laughed, and moved to walk away.

"Sure. But we should watch that when we get home...Life on Mars, I mean." The boy agreed as they wandered off.

"American or UK?" Jack blinked, and was left sort of speechless. What on earth were these people talking about?

"American. Snappy white shoes!" And the couple faded off down a side alley next to a shop advertizing coffee.

Jack gave the others a confused look. "What the hell was that about?"

"I got no idea, but this ain't New York. How'd we get here?" Skit crossed his arms, and leaned against a nearby brick wall.

"The girl said something about it being Salem. Salem, Massachusetts, you think?" David, ever practical, seemed to be taking it better then anyone else.

"She also said it was 2011. She was clearly nuts. Everyone here is outta their minds. It's like some kinda freak show took over the entire town." Blink was flailing. Literally, flailing.

"How did we -get- here is the question!" Jack was getting a bit exasperated, and a bit nervous.

There was silence for a long moment before Mush put voice to what they were all thinking. "Are we dead? Is this...the other side?"

"If this is the other side, I don't like it. It's full of weirdos." Race seemed very adamant.

"Maybe it was Martians." Skit pipped up.

"-Martians-?" David and Jack chorused.

"Yeah, Martians. The Martians. Ya know, the people what live on Mars. Folks've seen faces on Mars, and things, and some say they're gonna come and attack us." Jack was never quite sure where Skit got his strange ideas, but he had them.

"Skit...why would Martians put us in Salem?" Blink shook his head. He'd managed to tame his flailing into twitching.

"Maybe they took us, and we went all the way to Mars, and then all the way back, and we was travelin so fast that time stood still for us, but over a hundred years passed while we were gone, and the Martians ain't from here, so they couldn't tell the difference between New York and Salem, so this was where they dumped us." Skit was picking up steam, this all seemed to make sense to him.

"Why don't we remember any of this, then?" Race crossed his arms for a moment, and then sighed, reaching into his vest for his cigar and a match.

"Mind probes. We should all check our heads for holes..." Skit whipped his hat off and started patting his head.

Blink was about to comment when a girl even less dressed then the first, and clearly drunk, unlike the first, attached herself to his arm. "You're cuuute! What hotel are you staying at? Can I kiss you?" And without waiting for a reply, kissed him.

Jack blinked. Who the hell was that? And why was Blink getting kissed? Before he could ask, another girl, in an outfit similar to the girl kissing Blink's outfit attached herself to Mush. "You guys go to school around here? We're going to Dodge Street! You could come with us!"

A third girl jumped on Race's back, wearing what looked like a tiny bumble-bee costume. "I like your vest! Come drink with us!"

Race stumbled, and nearly fell over, dropping his cigar. Jack was starting to think the first girl was the safest person they were likely to encounter. He backed away slightly. They were being attacked by crazy, rabid whores, and he had no idea how to hide from them. He caught Mush's eye, and nodded at Race, who stumbled into Blink, trying to shake the bumble-bee off of his back.

Taking Race's cue, Blink managed to disentangle himself from the girl who was intent on kissing him, and Mush wiggled free of his admirer. Race, in a move that Jack was actually impressed by, flipped the bumble-bee over his head, leaving her on the ground as all six of them took off at a run.

As they bolted down the cobble street, Skit bellowed over his shoulder. "I'm tellin ya! Martians!"




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